Missing Scene from New Moon
by freckled-smile
Summary: *SPOILER* Do not read unless you have read New Moon. From Edward's perspective during the middle of the book. Rated K plus for a single swear word.


_Author's Note: While I did not write this particular scene, it is vital that it is read before my missing scene. In the beginning of _New Moon_, an accident occurs within the Cullen family that jeopardizes Bella's life and Edward decides to leave her to ensure her safety. While he is gone, Bella discovers that she can hear Edward's voice whenever she places herself in danger. Prior to this scene, where she cliff jumps during a thunder storm, she experiences danger through riding a motor cycle and nearly crashing. Her decision to jump from the cliff is based on her interest in hearing Edward's voice again. At the end of this chapter she says that she sees Edward in the water, however, this encounter only occurs in her head. The reason for her hallucinations is never explained. My missing scene is intended to fill the missing gap. The areas in bold are included in the missing scene. _

_Original Scene from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer  
From Chapter 15_

I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it... waiting.  
**"Bella." **  
I smiled and exhaled.  
Yes? I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when lie was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice—the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.  
**"Don't do this,"** he pleaded.  
You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me .  
**"Please. For me." **  
But you won't stay with me any other way.  
**"Please."** It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes—making me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.  
I rolled up onto the balls of my feet.  
**"No, Bella!"** He was angry now, and the anger was so lovely.  
I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool—feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring...  
And I flung myself off the cliff.  
I screamed as I dropped through the open air like a meteor, but it was a scream of exhilaration and not fear. The wind resisted, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, pushing against me and twirling me in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth.  
Yes! The word echoed through my head as I sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than I'd feared, and yet the chill only added to the high.  
I was proud of myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn't had one moment of terror—just pure adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn't scary at all. Where was the challenge?  
That was when the current caught me.  
I'd been so preoccupied by the size of the cliffs, by the obvious danger of their high, sheer faces, that I hadn't worried at all about the dark water waiting. I never dreamed that the true menace was lurking far below me, under the heaving surf.  
It felt like the waves were fighting over me, jerking me back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling me into halves. I knew the right way to avoid a riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did me little good when I didn't know which way the shore was.  
I couldn't even tell which way the surface was.  
The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness to direct me upward. Gravity was all-powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves—I couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung me round and round like a rag doll.  
I fought to keep my breath in, to keep my lips locked around my last store of oxygen.  
It didn't surprise me that my delusion of Edward was there. He owed me that much, considering that I  
was dying. I was surprised by how sure that knowledge was. I was going to drown. I was drowning.  
**"Keep swimming!" **Edward begged urgently in my head.  
Where? There was nothing but the darkness. There was no place to swim to.  
**"Stop that!"** he ordered. **"Don't you dare give up!"**  
The cold of the water was numbing my arms and legs. I didn't feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more of just a dizziness now, a helpless spinning in the water.  
But I listened to him. I forced my arms to continue reaching, my legs to kick harder, though every second I was facing a new direction. It couldn't be doing any good. What was the point?  
**"Fight!"** he yelled. "Damn it, Bella, keep fighting."  
Why?  
I didn't want to fight anymore. And it wasn't the light-headedness, or the cold, or the failure of my arms as the muscles gave out in exhaustion, that made me content to stay where I was. I was almost happy that it was over. This was an easier death than others I'd faced. Oddly peaceful.  
I thought briefly of the clichés, about how you were suppose to see your life flash before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, anyway?  
I saw him, and I had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much more defined than any memory. My subconscious had stored Edward away in flawless detail, saving him for this final moment. I could see his perfect face as if he were really there; the exact shade of his icy skin, the shape of his lips, the line of his jaw, the gold glinting in his furious eyes. He was angry, naturally, that I was giving up. His teeth were clenched and his nostrils flared with rage.  
**"No! Bella, no!"**  
My ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I'd forgotten what real happiness felt like.  
Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.  
The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me away from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.  
Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought.

Original Scene from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer  
From Chapter 17

_Author's note: After Bella is rescued from the water, Harry Clearwater passes away from a heart attack. The following scene occurs two days after her cliff jump. Again, the parts used in the missing scene have been placed in bold. _

The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. He took his hand from under my chin and reached over me to grab the receiver, but still held my face securely with the hand against my cheek. His dark eyes did not free mine. I was too muddled to react, even to take advantage of the distraction.  
**"Swan residence,"** Jacob said, his husky voice low and intense.  
Someone answered, and Jacob altered in an instant. He straightened up, and his hand dropped from my face. His eyes went flat, his face blank, and I would have bet the measly remainder of my college funds that it was Alice .  
I recovered myself and held out my hand for the phone. Jacob ignored me.  
**"He's not here," **Jacob said, and the words were menacing.  
There was some very short reply, a request for more information it seemed, because he added  
unwillingly, **"He's at the funeral.**"  
Then Jacob hung up the phone. "Filthy bloodsucker," he muttered under his breath. The face he turned back to me was the bitter mask again.  
"Who did you just hang up on?" I gasped, infuriated. "In my house, and on my phone?"  
"Easy! He hung up on me!"  
"He? Who was it?!"  
He sneered the title. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

Missing Scene

_Author's Note: Edward can read thoughts and Alice can see the future. Previous to this scene, Alice confided in Rosalie that she saw Bella falling from a cliff, screaming and being thrashed around in the water. Alice left to find Bella to see if she was safe, leaving Rosalie to interpret Alice's vision as Bella's suicide. The following scene takes place from Edward's point of view. As a point of interest, every statement that Edward makes out loud in this scene is taken from Bella's hallucination from the original scene included above. Additionally, all time lines are accurate to the Canon. Edward's speed in running is assumed at 60 km/hr. As such, the trip to Italy (all 9000km) is feasible within the alloted time span before Bella realizes that Edward is in danger. _

Being back in Forks was a bad idea; a masochistic idea brought forth by a weak lion, but I missed my lamb. The paneling on the side of the house felt too familiar under my stone hands and the memories of Bella sleeping in my arms made it near impossible not to cross the threshold of her open window. Carefully I looked over the cil, afraid of seeing her porcelain face. Instead, the room was vacant, her scent weak as though she had not been home since early this morning.  
Curious, I ran to Charlie's window to figure out where she was.  
_I wonder if Donald Smith really is innocent... Seemed like a darn nice fella whenever I was around him, but you never know... Lakers play the Knicks tonight... it'll be a miracle if Bryant is able to dunk after that knee replacement... Bells said there's soup in the fridge... hope it's not that healthy garbage..._  
I listened for a bit longer, hoping that some thought of his would be focused on his daughter, but after several minutes I abandoned my plan and returned Charlie's privacy of thought. Leaping to the grass, I slid into the kitchen to see if she was there. Although I could not smell her gently enticing and sensual scent, I had to check to be certain. The disappointment of finding an empty room nearly distracted me enough to not notice the note on the table. Picking it up, I ran my fingers over the indentations her pen left on the paper, smiling at messy letters that were neither cursive nor print.

_Gone to Jacob's to do homework.  
Dinner is in the fridge.  
Remember to take the tinfoil off before you microwave it.  
I won't be late.  
-Bella_

A potpourri of feelings muddled in my mind. Relief, because I knew Bella was safe, anger, because she was with Jacob, and a third feeling that I could not quite articulate. Wherever Bella was, if she was with Jacob I would not be welcome. Probably for the best, I had to remind myself.  
The run home felt no different than it usually did, though it had been months since I last traveled this route. The skies were murky and gray, the trees damp and dense, the mud thick, sticking to my shoes as I ran. Occasionally I could see the outline of passing cars through brief clearings; could hear the mundane conversations in the cars. Always the same concerns, the same thirsts. Every human thought that they were unique in their thoughts, but they were all the exact same. I picked up speed, challenging myself to go faster, and then I heard Alice's thoughts pierce deep into my head.  
_The water... it's everywhere. Why isn't she trying? Kick, damn it, kick! I shouldn't have left her... like a sister to me... maybe there's time..._  
I froze in my tracks and started to run after the car. Water? Her vision was completely black, and yet I could feel the fear in her thoughts. Was Bella safe? My feet tread upon the ground, creating a solid hum rather than individual steps. I pictured Bella's face, a nightmare that plagued my vision even during the day, right after James broke her leg. The shriek that escaped her lips as he threw her to the wall echoed between my ears. The way that her body contorted as she lay dying on the floor. The fear of her being in pain drove me to run at speeds I had yet to experience. Passing cars, I ran on the road, not caring if anyone saw my unnatural acceleration. Panic stuck me as the yellow Porsche disappeared well in front of the curb, out of sight and too far away for me to follow. Pivoting on one foot, I turned and ran as quickly as I could back towards the house.  
As I ran down the winding driveway, and up the front steps, the sound of four frantic thoughts swam through my head.  
_I can't believe... Maybe she was pushed... she was sad though... we should have been watching her...  
What will Edward... maybe she's safe... could she have seen Victoria... why was she outside during the storm...  
I will request to examine the body myself... Edward would prefer me over others... such pain he will be in... I don't understand why she..._  
What is God's name had happened? And then I heard Rosalie loudly over all of them, piecing every thought together, confirming my greatest fear.  
_About time. It will be easier for us now. We'll be able to stay in Forks longer. Maybe Edward will even come home now. We can go back to how it was before she came along. Killing herself was the best thing that little bitch could have done to herself. Still, a waste to lose such sweet smelling blood._  
Killing herself? My legs nearly gave-out as I replayed that final thought. Steadying myself I pushed open the front door to a sea of 8 confused eyes. Esme was the first to run to the doorway, arms outstretched.  
"Oh Edward. I'm so glad you're home."  
Her face was worn, forehead creased, mouth down-turned. Seeing her saddness, my arms did not wrap around my mother as she squeezed tightly. They hung limply by my side as I stared at Rosalie and managed a weak "Bella."  
Falsifying her face into one of remorse, Rosalie hung her head and busied her thoughts with trivial concerns. She was playing this up, trying make the rest of them think that she was upset whilst she secretly gloated over Bella's passing. I wanted to lunge across the room and rip Rosalie apart for thinking ill of Bella, but I held my ground. Bella wouldn't have wanted this.  
"Don't do this," I pleaded with her.  
Rosalie continued to look at the floor, imagining in great detail how to mend a fallen hem.  
"Please," I begged her, "for me."  
Carlisle walked towards the door and rested his hand on my shoulder.  
"Edward," he said softly, "you should come into the living room."  
Ignoring everyone else's thoughts, I focused on Rosalie. In barely a whisper, I breathed a final "please." Looking up from the ground, she relaxed her face and sighed.  
_Alice saw it all happen, Edward. Bella killed herself. She jumped from a cliff during the storm. The current pulled her under. Edward, I'm sorry, but she's dead._  
A scream escaped from my lips while immediate self-loathing ripped apart my body.  
"No, Bella!" I pictured her body falling through the sky, the scream escaping from her lips. What kind of pain had I put her in to make her take her life? If I had stayed... this is all my fault. I imagined her body plunging into the icy water, the darkness from Alice's earlier thoughts now making sense.  
"Keep swimming," I said to myself as I imagined her struggle. Through my thoughts I willed her swim, to find her way to the surface, to find her way to safety.  
This time my knees really did give out and I slumped to the floor, fracturing the white marble with my stone limbs. Two hands lifted me back to my feet while a third took my hand. To whom they belonged was irrelevant. All that mattered was that Bella-- how it hurt to now say her name-- was not alive. Moments of silence passed as I was directed to the couch. After what felt like an eternity Carlisle spoke.  
"I'll ask to examine her body tomorrow, Edward. You can come with me, if you would like. I thought that you would want to say your final goodbye."  
Carlisle's words brought a newfound rage to my thoughts. How could he be so certain of her death? He, the most dependable in his reasoning than all of us, abandoning the hope that Alice's vision was wrong; giving up all faith in her well-being.  
"Stop that!" I ordered. "Don't you dare give up!"  
She couldn't be gone. My world wouldn't exist without her. Esme held my hand as I yelled at Carlisle, the pain in her expression making me angrier, making the situation feel too real.  
"Edward," Esme whispered, trying to summon the right words. "Alice saw it happen. A fall from that height... no one could have survived. Rosalie told us as soon as we got here. I can't believe it either."  
No! I screamed in my head. She'll be fine. I know she will. She's a fighter.  
"Fight!" I screamed, half finishing my thought aloud. "Damn it, Bella will keep fighting!"  
At my futile attempt to reject the news Esme threw her arms around my neck, burying her saddened face into my shoulder. Looking at the rest of my family watching me, I only then noticed that Emmett was there, holding a photo of Bella. At the connection of our eyes, he leaned in and handed me the photo. This was my favorite one, a candid taken before our prom. Bella's features were so soft, her face too delicate to be real. I caught myself in the past tense when talking about Bella, and a pained moan escaped from my lips. Esme held me tighter and her sobbing joined with mine as a harmonic duet of mourning.  
"She was a fighter," Esme whispered, "I want her to be alive, too."  
The hurt in Esme's voice was too real to ignore. Bella really was gone. Pushing her arms from my body I ran out the door. "No," I kept saying, "Bella... no."

For two days I ran without rest, passing towns, cities, states. When I reached water I swam, my limbs a blur, creating a wake behind my torpedoed body. I couldn't get to Italy fast enough. I needed to die. I needed to leave this world, to find my way back to Bella.  
The same question flooded my head when I thought of death: how could I go to heaven if I didn't have a soul? At this moment, I didn't care about technicalities, I just wanted to be with her. Going to Italy I could have the Volturi kill me, rip me limb from limb and burn my remains. If heaven existed I would be reunited with my Bella and we would start again, this time as equals in the afterlife. Before today I didn't believe in heaven or hell for our kind, but today I would do anything to hold her again.  
From the shore of Chedabucto Bay in Nova Scotia I looked out at the ocean. The bright lights from behind me were all that reflected in the black water ahead. Soon, I kept repeating to myself. Soon we will be together again. I needed to be out of this world. There was nothing remaining for me here, and the thought of Bella being gone tormented me every second that I ran. From too many angles I imagined Bella's body falling, the scream escaping her lips, the water sucking her under without remorse. I needed to get to the Volturi to end this torture. And yet, I still had a gleam of hope that she might be safe.  
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a single zip-locked bag filled only with the photo that Emmett gave me and my cell phone. Tracing the lines of her delicate face, I needed to be certain that she was gone. The phone fell into my hand and I dialed the number that I thought I would never dial again. A man with a deep voice answered the phone, confirming that I had the right number.  
"Swan residence."  
Panicking slightly, I asked to speak to Charlie. I had to know for sure.  
"This is... Dr. Cullen. I was wondering if Charlie was home."  
With a hiss of distaste, the man on the phone spat a quick response.  
"He's not here."  
For a slight moment my hopes climbed. Maybe she was safe and they were at the hospital together. Trying to keep the mounting excitement from my voice, I responded with a calm, polite voice.  
"No? That's alright. Would you happen to know where I could find him?"  
Barely waiting for me to finish talking, the voice dismissed my hopes.  
"He's at the funeral."  
The connection cut out and I was barely aware that I had slammed the phone shut. Extinguished were all flames of hope that I had previously fostered. Bella. Dead. My limbs started to move before I was conscious of the change. I needed to get to Volturra. I needed to be with my Bella.


End file.
